Love and relationships at my age.. the game has totally changed! Ive touched on this subject in the past so I'm just updating. Obviously it is a part of my life since I am single and all, and would like to find love.. so its going to come up. I know ya love this topic.;) I am starting to feel the pressure from others about finding a relationship but I feel no need to take that jump. That is settling if it doesn't feel natural. I stand very firm on this decision. I know what it feels like to be swept off my feet. Less will not do. This has also made me very aware of how divorce and marriage is viewed.. with very little respect. Our society has so much emphasis on being partnered that if you aren't there must be something wrong with you. I mean if you get into something and then you want to get out cause you don't want to put in the work or you jumped in before finding out if it was something you would even want to put work into.. fuck it, bail. WTF? Humans are not disposable! I find myself asking guys why they are single as if there is something wrong with them. You see a good looking guy that comes off well and you gotta wonder right? My first thought is hes horrible in bed.. but even that wont keep a guy single.. just single from me. I would like to think that everyone thinks like me so they are single for my reasons.. but I don't really know. Therefore I ask. But like everything else filtering through the bullshit is a chore that must be done. (Why do people insist on bullshitting when they really don't care what you think?) From what I have seen people are so afraid of being alone that they will hook their wagon up to someone just to fill a void or validate themselves. Not good reasons at all! I hear from a lot of other singles about their trials.. this is real life shit that is a big conversation piece. Obviously, its a multi million dollar industry. Everyone is 'looking' but no one truly wants to invest. You aren't thinking about the upkeep on the sexy new sports car you want to buy but you know you want to drive it. I sure as hell am not going to invest into Match.com etc. I will save my investment for the relationship. Unlike everything else I don't think you can chase or look for love and be successful. That is not to say that once you find that person and you shouldn't put forth the effort to pursue. Funny how people will put more effort into the chase and search than the actual relationship. Not sure if there are more trials being single or married. Both are pretty tough. Actually I think its the same amount just different. If you are lucky enough to find someone that pushes all the right buttons even the difficulties in marriage are a blessing.
So yeah, things are WAY different for me than when I was single last. The men I attract and who I am as a woman now are almost completely different. However somethings for me never change and that isn't all good. It can make for some difficult situations. I am in one right now and it happens to be with a roommate. I've always attracted guys that go about getting my attention in all the wrong ways. This is a headache that I would of course much rather avoid but some situations are unavoidable. No really, some are. My living situation is temporary but unavoidable right now. Its making me pretty unhappy to say the least. For a 'recoving' addict bad, painful situations are very, very undesirable. I pray and do my best with it though. Peoples selfishness never ceases to blow my mind.. and piss me off.
I attract all ages but definitely younger now for the most part. Guys in their 40s are steering clear. I think that they are the mid life crisis guys. They don't know what the fuck they want so they definitely don't want a woman that knows what she wants. That is too scary for them. Woman that have gone through some shit have a real sense of self. They don't have time or patience for the bullshit. They don't make big deals out of nothing and are in a peek of sexuality. The reasons a man would want an older woman are endless. Younger guys come minus the emotional baggage but are sick of dating the younger girls that are less 'experienced'. At first I was scared to death of the 20 somethings popping up. I was really taken back by it. At first I took it as a trend but I can see there is something to it. I always thought it was a little.. taboo maybe.. when I knew older woman with younger guys. I had always been attracted to men a little older. I know when Lisa Auckland went through her divorce she had quite the ordeal. She showed up the next year at the Olympia with a cute, much younger guy. I was a little surprised but not judging by no means. I just thought, wow I hope he has a gorgeous dick and fucks the shit out her.. oh and makes her really happy. ;) She sure as hell deserves it! See where my mind goes first.
I'm totally confused about sex too. People have sex like they have dinner. No big deal and Ill take the shitty cold pizza even though I could hold out for the fillet mignon. REALLY? Have some self respect. Don't sell yourself short but pleeeeease do be realistic about what you can get. 5s don't get to fuck 10s... that's just how it goes. I didn't make the rule, although there are exceptions. I saw a coffee mug years ago that said.. sex is like pizza, even when its bad its good. Maybe for a guy! Or you've never had REALLY good sex to make the comparison cause no, really bad sex is a waste of time. The intimacy is what I really miss. We are human and are built to touch and feel so its natural to crave that. I'm not writing a book on human sexuality so I don't want to bore you but sex is one of my favorite subjects. Do you really give a shit about that salad I tweeted about last night? No, but you would've really taken notice if I tweeted something pornographic, even if it was just me eating the salad naked. I don't always act nuts just cause I'm nuts. People that know how to get what they want also know strategy. ;)
Im headed in to jog... Ewwwww!
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