Tuesday

I love Valentines day! It really is just another Tuesday. Love should be celebrated everyday! I am a little depressed today though. I am coming down sick AGAIN so I'm just going to pamper myself and bundle up.. no hot date for me. I am appreciative of the love and relationships I do have. A part of me would like to be in a relationship on days like this. I am a very playful person and I miss having a playmate. I just sat down on the kitchen floor and ate a half loaf of bread with butter and honey! That is me pouting. I am completely broken out with zits on my face that wont go away! I'm not stressed and I drink tons of water but I do have a caffeine problem. I'm not use to getting zits. Instead of finding another grey hair (yes I do have plenty and I love them), I find a new wrinkle! At least you can pluck the grey! I should have a bunch of stuff to say about love and relationships but I am kinda stumped. Like I haven't being rambling enough. Practice some self love so you can be healthy to give to others. I found a really neat app called The Love Dare. It is a beautiful daily reminder of how to live for your spouse and be the best partner possible.

I did have a point to what I was writing about yesterday. What triggered all my thoughts was thinking of New Years resolutions. I had never really attempted to make any before this year. The last year has been just investing and reflecting on who I was and who I want to be. I have been full of resolutions, from understanding forgiveness, to being more aware of the words I use. There has been a lot of change and for the better if I do say so myself. I think it is very rare for people to change so I'm pretty proud of what my stubborn ass has done. I realized just how self absorbed I use to be. I read.. on a wall one day, to be more worried about being interested than interesting. I loved that. I thought just by putting action to this simple little statement it could lead to so many other positive things. That was my big resolution and I've been pretty successful with dedication to doing so. I have been able to be more interested in others and it makes me completely happy. I have found when I put my focus more on others I don't give a shit so much what anyone thinks of me. Not taking shit personal is completely fantastic! If you're talking about me.. negative or positive; thanks, the content of what you are saying says more about you than me. I am flattered but I'm sure there is more constructive stuff to put energy into. ;) Self absorption, false sense of importance.. is fucking ugly. I realized my self centered behavior was only making me more insecure. Whoa! That is why I think so many bb are so insecure, cause they are fucking narcissistic! I am so embarrassed at how bad I was. I am well aware that I don't look like other woman and it's been that way since I was little so I've always been very much the center of attention. That doesn't always translate into a good thing.
So one way to be more interested is volunteer work. Give of yourself. The one thing we cannot get more of is time. Our time is limited. To give your time is a enormous gift.. priceless. I am doing a kitty cat shelter but I am wanting to find something with kids. I loooove kids. They are so much fun and real. I am just a big kid so I can totally hang. Even if you can find something just once a month, do it! It blesses you with a sense of peace and well being.
I have had a love hate relationship with Facebook. Like with almost everything else like that in my life I have learned to leave what I don't like and take what I do like and focus on that. Facebook is a brilliant way to connect. I now take time to be interested in what is going on with my 'friends'. I am more humanly connected through compassion so I sincerely care about other peoples lives. No, I will not let Facebook take over my social life, but I know how to accept and use it as a positive tool. It has however had plenty of seriously negative effects on me. That maybe where the hate comes in. I discovered a real love for people once I stopped focusing on the negative, dark, ugly side. I am a realist by nature but my perspective has drastically improved on how to view reality. I thought that texting and Facebook was dehumanizing interaction cause I wanted to focus on what was wrong with it rather than what was right. People do misuse it and do stupid shit LIKE pose as someone they are not! Pathetic.. really.
I watched a CNBC special on Mark Zuckerburg which debated all sides of Facebooks impact. No matter how you feel about Facebook it's very real and its not going away EVER. I have yet to jump on Twitter cause I dont want to be too consumed. Eventually maybe. I got some peer pressure setting in. LOL I already live on my computer and phone too much.
OooooEquador. I was excited to find it. :) I think my first trip is going to be San Diego in July though.

Happy Valentines Day! Remember to love the people in your life for who they are and show them each chance you get. You may not get another one. All my love with BIG HUGS! Thank you for your support and showing me your love!