Monday

I love Monday! Even if I did get some SHIT news today and I'm totally pissed.
Last night I had the strangest dream
I sailed away to China
In a little row boat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned
Didn't want no-one to hold you
What does that mean
And you said
Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
I'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'
You're on a roll and now you pray it lasts
The road behind was rocky
But now you're feeling cocky
You look at me and you see your past
Is that the reason why you're runnin' so fast
And she said

LMAO! Oh jeez.. those lyrics just popped in my head when I was starting this. :) I know, I amuse myself.

I gotta say I am so happy that Adele cleaned up Grammys last night. I absolutely love that girl. I identify with her personality and I really identify on a personal level with the album 21. She wrote it when she was 21 due to a break up. When I was 21 my lyrics would've been construed of 'fuck yous', and name calling. She dug a little deeper obviously, to give the lyrics on the album some real meaning. Not that fuck you doesn't have meaning. It definitely still gets the point across. Seriously, download it if you haven't. It is fantastic. I don't know if Ive ever actually watched the Grammys which is odd considering my love for music. Half of it was snore though. I will never understand how Springsteen ever became a famous singer. UGH! Sick needles in my ears! I thought the Beach Boys were awesome. I was grinning from ear to ear. Paul McCartney.. I will never get it. Elevator music man! Chris Brown was good.. love that song Beautiful People. I liked Katy Perry too even though I think she's too 'bubble gum' pop.. her new song is cool. Adele definitely stole the show.
Whintey Houston.. damn, sad but not a big surprise I guess. You abuse drugs long enough it will kill you. I am mortified to think about what damage I may have done and blessed that I am still alive. Long term side effects are still relevant even if I did live through the worst part. Drugs are bad mmm kaaay? It reminds me of something I saw on Real Sports recently. The NFL uses an injectable drug called toradol to mask pain on the field. Toradol is meant for short term use but that is not how the NFL is using it. The side effects and long term sides have been cloudy with the players.. kidney failure, heart/circulation problems, blood thinning(not good if you get a concussion on the field). The doctors haven't really disclosed the facts. I suppose anymore its just common sense that drugs have sides since the have a billion commercials for the shit. My point is.. they asked one player that uses it every game if he knew of the sides and he said no. After they informed him they asked if he would keep using it and he said definitely. We have a sense of immortality and living for the moment, who cares what may happen in a year or two? VERY few people. I was invincible like that for years. Death, disease, broken relationships.. fuck it. Drugs are a fact of life.. they have their place when used properly. Alcohol is completely socially excepted and totally fine in responsible moderation. Its the abuse that is the problem. Abuse destroys.
I heard of someone found in their apartment dead last week. He was struggling with pain killer addiction.

I have a group therapy on Monday nights. I love it. Its a fun group and the people accept and maybe even appreciate my personality. I am practicing putting my over opinionated mouth on ice but there is a time and place.. in therapy I let it fly. Whatever filter I do have I can remove in there. I am shy AT FIRST in all situations but once I warm up I relax. It has to do with acceptance. Acceptance is the first and biggest human desire, need. Rejection being our biggest fear (Remember you can not love when living with fear. If we are walking around fearing rejection it makes it hard to set ourselves aside to give our love freely). Even starting this blog I was a little shy at first. The more accepted and received I am the more I open up. But when it comes to the content of my blog I don't really care if you agree with it.. I care if you accept that I am an individual with a voice, something to say, and you respect that. Better yet, that you like me for it. I hope I do challenge what you think and believe. I'm not sure where I was going with this now.. shit. My point that got way off track is that Ramen noodles are by far better than Cup a Noodles because of the consistency of the noodle. One is fatter and firmer and the other is thinner and mushier. Yeah, no.. that wasn't it either, but I do really feel that way in case you ever wondered where I stood on packaged noodles.
LOL I'm kinda kidding. Quality not quantity, right? I practice being fair, compassionate, forgiving, FUN, and true. Yeah, WTF?.. being good is hard work. Out of all the therapy I have done over the years of fighting whatever I thought was making me unhappy, finding peace via brutal life lessons has been the most effective and rewarding. I even tried hypnotherapy! Its kinda like this.. you most likely wont empathize with the bum on the corner, out of work with no family to help out if you yourself have always had job security and a close, supportive family. Even if you say you do, I guarantee until you have been in the bums shoes for a few miles and have his full story, you don't have a genuine appreciation for the true difficulties of being a broke bum. I had to suffer through some real ordeals to understand who I really was and wanted to be. When the smoke from all the destruction and damage clears there is nothing but a mirror with a reflection that needs a long hard look. Till I was ready to invest in my reflection, no amount of therapy was going to do shit.
I'll continue my soap box tomorrow cause I am soooo sleepy.. night, night!