Hump day

Went and saw Chronicle last night. Entertaining movie.. worth seeing. I so wanted to be one of the characters for real! Maybe subconsciously I do want to have super human powers so that is why I chose to look like it? Whatever. On the cheerleading article (link under 'Can't sleep').. real quick; I was not saying she wasn't natural. I was annoyed at how she went about defending it. She did not get offered a 75k deal if she used anavar. I'm just saying.. I would've loved to have heard that conversation. I would love to know who would've put that offer on the table. I'm sure she looks fantastic and I support her efforts but it was a shit article.
I am having fun blogging, especially hearing how much its being appreciated, but I am still coming out of my shell. I'm kinda full of shit by saying that this is uncensored. If this was truly uncensored I would be really freaking you out. I am very aware that if you don't know me and how I talk.. it may come off wrong reading it on a screen. I need a disclaimer to read my blog maybe? I don't mean to be offensive but I can be I guess. I feel I am misunderstood. I don't always clarify myself enough either. I try to remember that the reader isn't in my head so I cant assume they know what I am thinking or talking about if I don't spell it all out. I'm no English major alright? ;) I get an A for effort. Well.. my A stands for AWESOME, Cause I am.
Trained legs after eating a huge salad.. gross. I am using relatively NO weight (I squat the bar) but its still leg training and it can make me queasy with food in my belly. People in the gym ask me if I'm going to compete again and when I say possibly physique the look puzzled and ask if I will have to lose some size? LOL Not a good sign.

I am having a crumby day so I got a bit of a case of the fuck its. I have bad days still but at least I know how to deal with them and I don't go get fucked up. That is not to say that the temptation isn't there cause sure it is. I still don't want to confront painful wounds but they are not completely healed and they are there. There is a time you got to face it or shit will only get worse. Running doesn't work forever. So, I feel it no matter how much it hurts, cry and let out. I don't have to wake up to the destruction of Heather in the morning either. THAT is way harder to face!