Writers block :(

Yeah, I'm kinda stuck! I'm sick with some infection shit so my head is in a complete fog. I've been doing a ton of reading and getting fabulous ideas but I get sidetracked. Once I get blabbin I'll get goin. I will let my book suggestions do some writing for me. Boundaries by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend.. this book is a must read for everyone. Fantastic book! Its based on the word of God which gives it even more beautiful insight into doing the right thing. If you don't even think you have boundary problems this book will still have a great deal to contribute to your life! You maybe surprised at how much you are missing here by not being aware of your limits and how it effects your you and your relationships. Boundaries are touchy. There are a whole lot of fuzzy areas but these authors make it as clear cut as possible so the reader can do their best to draw their own boundaries. Cutting out the stress and chaos unmanaged boundaries can cause makes all the difference. Knowing this stuff is one thing.. putting it into action is another.

The first thing you probably think of is not being able to say 'no', which is accurate but there is so much at work here. I thought, how did they come up with so much information on saying no? There's a lot more to boundaries than you may think. For me personally I found out that I am a bit of an 'advoidant' with my boundaries. Avoidants don't like letting others in to love and help them. They also fail to respect the 'no' of others. They can take advantage of weak or almost nonexistent nos. This is something I am aware of these days. As I looked into this more I found an actual 'avoidant personality disorder'. Characteristics are shyness, insecurity, hard to get close to. I am very aware of this but I didn't know it is actually labeled as a disorder. Damn! I am pretty good about putting on a front that I am super outgoing and extroverted but I'm more the opposite. Enough psychoanalyzing me.. LOL Previously I was very wishy washy on my boundaries then I would get pissed and resentful that people wouldn't respect what I was 'trying' to convey. I wasn't clear and blamed it on others. We assume that people should just know what we are thinking, however I can definitely testify to it not working that way. One of my most immature ways of thinking was expecting everyone to think or act like me. lol Now I am much more conscious of making myself clear and not blaming others for my lack of communication and clarification. Boundaries are a part of your responsibility.

Falling to Pieces by Mary Forsberg Weiland, she was married to Stone Temple Pilots lead singer Scott Weiland. Her memoir is about addiction... how could it not be? LOL Its honest and nicely written. We think we know an awful lot when we are younger till we go through some real suffering and trials. The character and insight that is born is priceless. Its up to us if we let if impact us negatively or positively. After all the pain I have endured I know I am a little guarded. I would like to avoid it in the future but I refuse to live in fear of everything and everyone. I believe love conquers all! Hopeless romantic always. :)

Ladies.. one of the best easy reads ever! Keeping a Princess Heart.. In a Not So Fairytale World by Nicole Johnson is just amazing! Guys should even read it. Its a beautiful look at what a REAL princess is(no, not the spoiled, bratty, temper tantrum throwing version). We all have an inner REAL princess, unfortunately the real world takes a hold of us and it fades. It is our duty to remember that inner beauty. This author suggest.. my favorite, striving for balance between the real world and our fantasy 'everything is perfect' world. Awesome book!


We all have self talk going on in our heads all day. Tapes that play over and over. For years I played the same negative shit about myself. I knew I was sickened by arrogance and flaunted pride in others so I would put myself down and worse.. believe it. I was scared to speak too highly of myself so it was logical to buy the put downs. I justified it cause other people gave validity to it. Well they SAID I am this or that so it must be so. There is a difference between people giving you input cause they love you and people just being mean spirited to hurt you. Now I'm healthy enough to know the difference. I put myself around the 'right' people. Quality people with integrity and ethics. I highly advocate that if you want to feel better about you.. do something for someone. It can even be complimenting their jacket. After all.. you keep what you give away. Never be scared to give yourself away.

Ok.. back to sleep! Actually my battery is dying so I have to wrap it up. ;)